diff --git a/voussoir.net/writing/cyborgs_on_hn/cyborgs_on_hn.md b/voussoir.net/writing/cyborgs_on_hn/cyborgs_on_hn.md index 5be3949..b8a6e4b 100644 --- a/voussoir.net/writing/cyborgs_on_hn/cyborgs_on_hn.md +++ b/voussoir.net/writing/cyborgs_on_hn/cyborgs_on_hn.md @@ -3,6 +3,59 @@ Cyborgs on HN This page collects comments which make unnecessary or tenuous analogies to computers, programming, dollar-sign $variables, sed's/replace/syntax/g, mathematics, AI/machine learning, and cryptography in discussions that aren't about those things. +> I don't think people do this because they want to be polite. The 'hello' is basically the start of what is the human equivalent of the TCP three way handshake. + +> \- Hello (SYN) + +> \> Hi (ACK) + +> \- How are you doing ? (SYN, ACK) + +> Basically, they are trying to set up a synchronous channel over what is essentially an asynchronous medium. This is even more annoying than just slowing down the answer, they are demanding your undivided attention during the conversation. + +> > You know you are on HN when hello/hi is explained in terms of SYN/ACK and not the other way around + +- + +> I tried their "Best toaster" query and one thing I want to say is just how hilarious it is that "best x"-of-anything webpage HAS to have $CURRENT_YEAR in the title. Yelp does something similar to its Google search results. + +> As if nothing good or the best in its breed ever came out from $PREVIOUS_YEAR or any previous years before that! + +> Tell me you're a garbage SEO website without telling me, just slap on "in $CURRENT_YEAR" or use some capital letters, I love how easy it is to tell the wheat from the chaff! + +> > Best $PRODUCT $CURRENT_YEAR can include products that were manufactured in $PREVIOUS_YEAR or $LONG_TIME_AGO. The $CURRENT_YEAR is saying that the list is up to date, not that all the items in the list were made in $CURRENT_YEAR. + +- + +> There is a joke I love that illustrates the concept: +"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my client was nowhere near the scene of the murder, he didn't mean to pull the trigger, and that son-of-a-bitch had it coming!" + +> > What would that be in programmer speak? + +> > The intern had no write access to the production database, he didn't mean to do the commit, and our network engineers had it coming? + +- + +> A new version with s/Stalin/Putin/ would be good, and perhaps given oligarchs etc. even funnier. + +- + +> When I'm tired and out of time instead of ordering an unhealthy meal from $FOODDELIVERYAPP$ I can (and very frequently do) buy something relatively healthier from such a site. + +- + +> But, every $BIG_CORP out there has on their roadmap a long-term plan to either drastically reduce their spend on Oracle products, or more often, eliminate it entirely. + +- + +> It's kind of terrible that you can use extensions XOR your own browser on iOS + +- + +> I'm currently job hunting, and a bit tired of sending out 3 - 5 apps a day via indeed or $COMPANY_SITE. Actually talking to someone would be nice. + +- + > I immediately came home, tried logging into my online banking accounts, but couldn't due to 2FA. Of course, I won't be able to log in until a replacement phone arrives. > > It's the same failure mode if you s/phone/token/. @@ -35,7 +88,7 @@ This page collects comments which make unnecessary or tenuous analogies to compu - -> Yes, crows use poke, dig, find, free, head, tail, touch, more, mount, make. And if they don’t like you, they use kill. Sometimes even killall. +> Yes, crows use poke, dig, find, free, head, tail, touch, more, mount, make. And if they don't like you, they use kill. Sometimes even killall. > crows are unable to use git, but then even I was unable to use git right after onboarding.