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@ -251,24 +251,30 @@ const REVIEWS = [
{"author": "Bort", "rating": "★☆☆☆☆", "text": "This app renamed all my contacts to Bort! Not before uploading them to the cloud I'm sure. Furious."},
{"author": "bro_lol", "rating": "★★★☆☆", "text": "😂😂😂😂😂😂😂"},
{"author": "CameroonFive", "rating": "★★★☆☆", "text": "Didn't work at first, but after enabling camera, mic, location, calendar, contacts, and sms everything was o.k."},
{"author": "constitutional", "rating": "★★★★☆", "text": "This app helped me pass my exams by removing all distractions and sending me into a deep trance state for eight days."},
{"author": "crissy92", "rating": "★★☆☆☆", "text": "It's cute and all but I feel I'm losing track of time in this app. Where did the past 30 years go?"},
{"author": "crypticpicnic", "rating": "★★★★☆", "text": "This app drains my battery SUPER fast. Something to do with the selfie camera being always on?"},
{"author": "cynthia", "rating": "★★★★☆", "text": "Good food! Lettuce didn't even taste funny"},
{"author": "dev12344", "rating": "★★★★★", "text": "pls accept my pull request i will get free t-shirt. PLsss request"},
{"author": "donttouchmeimart", "rating": "★☆☆☆☆", "text": "I got better pics on my insta ngl."},
{"author": "doubleplusbass", "rating": "★★★☆☆", "text": "I had no idea my speakers could get that loud. RIP Spotty."},
{"author": "entelligent", "rating": "★★★★★", "text": "Finally, a social network that truly values my intellect. I have found my people! All the cats are quite hirsute."},
{"author": "fairuza_yass", "rating": "★☆☆☆☆", "text": "Tried to join the witchcraft & potionmaking community but everyone there is just talking about drugs."},
{"author": "forgetful", "rating": "★★★★☆", "text": "This app helpfully reminds me of my social security number and credit card number right when I need them! Not sure how it knows them, though."},
{"author": "goody2shoe", "rating": "★☆☆☆☆", "text": "I wanted to write a letter to my congressperson but the app keeps replacing all my words with MEMEMEME like what even is this?"},
{"author": "greatlyindecent", "rating": "★★★☆☆", "text": "Looks like it was made by a five year old so by that metric it's pretty good."},
{"author": "holistic fishstick", "rating": "★★★★★", "text": "Brought my chakras to a very high vibration level. Definitely sharing at my next MLM meet!"},
{"author": "hothothot", "rating": "★☆☆☆☆", "text": "For some reason this app turned on my phone's flashlight and wouldn't let me turn it off. Burned a hole in my couch."},
{"author": "itsyaboidaniel", "rating": "★☆☆☆☆", "text": "how to get vbucks"},
{"author": "jamesjoyceismydad", "rating": "★☆☆☆☆", "text": "The e-book reader seems to be inserting ads in between each paragraph??"},
{"author": "jandrews", "rating": "★★★★★", "text": "Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens ❤"},
{"author": "lassie", "rating": "★★☆☆☆", "text": "All the advertisements act like this is the best app ever but actually it kind of sucks. Misleading. Should be removed from the store."},
{"author": "lisamona", "rating": "★★★★★", "text": "I love voussoir.app! It does everything I could want. Painting, cooking, eating, drinking, dancing, singing, living, and even dying. So good!"},
{"author": "littlenewwave", "rating": "★★★☆☆", "text": "Better than tiktok but i guess that's not saying very much"},
{"author": "michael", "rating": "★★★★★", "text": "My parole officer says this is the closest I'm allowed to get to youth."},
{"author": "mightybonk", "rating": "★☆☆☆☆", "text": "This app physically broke my screen. If I could give zero stars I would."},
{"author": "picklerick1", "rating": "★★★☆☆", "text": "where do download rick morty mp4"},
{"author": "popo no gogo", "rating": "★★★★☆", "text": "Tryna buy drugs but all the dealers keep ghosting me. hmu if you got 80 kis. Not a cop srsly."},
{"author": "robocop9000", "rating": "★★☆☆☆", "text": "this app requires 3.4 GB storage and does what with it? I can't find a single feature at all. It's just pulsating text. Did I get pranked?"},
{"author": "rodney1925", "rating": "★★☆☆☆", "text": "GRANDSON TELLS ME CAPITAL LETTERS ARE IMPOLITE... BUT CANT TURN OFF... OTHERWISE OK"},
{"author": "shipshopper", "rating": "★★☆☆☆", "text": "The search feature is consistently terrible. The 'promoted' items always appear on top even when they don't match my search."},
@ -281,6 +287,7 @@ const REVIEWS = [
{"author": "stingyjimmy", "rating": "★★☆☆☆", "text": "I know you're just trying to make a living and all but $87 a month is pretty steep."},
{"author": "techprowriter", "rating": "★★★★☆", "text": "Overall nice app. Read my full review at techprowriter.io."},
{"author": "TheKritik", "rating": "★★☆☆☆", "text": "You somehow took everything that's wrong with the world and put it all in one place. In a way, that's incredible."},
{"author": "think-thank-thunk", "rating": "★★★☆☆", "text": "A great deconstruction of the modern 'social media platform'. A refreshing change of pace. However too many normies."},
{"author": "timmy5", "rating": "★☆☆☆☆", "text": "My mom disowned me after I downloaded this app :("},
{"author": "timmy5mom", "rating": "★★★★★", "text": "Been trying to disown my son for years, but the courts were waiting for some sort of 'final straw'. This was it!! Bahamas here I come! Thanks :)"},
{"author": "vcmoney", "rating": "★★★★☆", "text": "voussoir.app could very well be the next Facebook! Get in touch with me if you want to increase your growth opportunities and add more telemetry."},