Increase professionalism.

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voussoir 2022-04-07 16:11:47 -07:00
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![](hero.jpg "I was told I needed a hero")
A professionally written article
@ -5,55 +49,55 @@ A professionally written article
By voussoir | April 24 2021 some time in the afternoon | 538 words | 505 spaces | 70 punctuation | 8 legs | 10 minute read for slow readers | 5 minute read for fast readers | 1 minute read for really fast readers | 0 minute read for readers who skip straight to the comments
Share this article on [Facebook](#), [Twitter](#), [Reddit](#), [Hacker News](#), [TikTok](#), [Tumblr](#), [Vine](#), [Instagram](#), [Email](#), [Medium](#), [GitHub](#), [The Pirate Bay](#), [Steam Community](#), [Bodybuilding.com](#), [4chan](#), [Text message](#), [OpenStreetMap](#), [Thesaurus.com](#), [StackExchange](#), [YouTube](#), [Facebook](#), [Facebook](#), [Facebook](#), [Please I'm begging you to share it on Facebook](#)
Share this article on <a class="fakelink">Facebook</a>, <a class="fakelink">Twitter</a>, <a class="fakelink">Reddit</a>, <a class="fakelink">Hacker News</a>, <a class="fakelink">TikTok</a>, <a class="fakelink">Tumblr</a>, <a class="fakelink">Vine</a>, <a class="fakelink">Instagram</a>, <a class="fakelink">Email</a>, <a class="fakelink">Medium</a>, <a class="fakelink">GitHub</a>, <a class="fakelink">The Pirate Bay</a>, <a class="fakelink">Steam Community</a>, <a class="fakelink">Bodybuilding.com</a>, <a class="fakelink">4chan</a>, <a class="fakelink">Text message</a>, <a class="fakelink">OpenStreetMap</a>, <a class="fakelink">Thesaurus.com</a>, <a class="fakelink">StackExchange</a>, <a class="fakelink">YouTube</a>, <a class="fakelink">Facebook</a>, <a class="fakelink">Facebook</a>, <a class="fakelink">Facebook</a>, <a class="fakelink">Please I'm begging you to share it on Facebook</a>
---
"<span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 14em">W</span>hat America needs today," said America's prime minister Mr. Minister McMinisterface," is more professionally written articles," he continued, in an interview last Thursday. "The kind with great," he went on, "big pull quotes and," he shared exclusively with a voussoir.net journalist who was also there on Thursday, "enough share buttons," he uttered with much conviction, "for our childrens'" he almost concluded on Thursday, "children", he concluded, overwhelmed with emotion.
"<span class="dropcap">W</span>hat America needs today," said America's prime minister Mr. Minister McMinisterface," is more professionally written articles," he continued, in an interview last Thursday. "The kind with great," he went on, "big pull quotes and," he shared exclusively with a voussoir.net journalist who was also there on Thursday, "enough share buttons," he uttered with much conviction, "for our childrens'" he almost concluded on Thursday, "children", he concluded, overwhelmed with emotion.
- [How to finish an article instead of getting distracted after the first paragraph](#)
- [Scientists warn sun moving closer to Earth, clock ticking to get beach bod in shape](#)
- [Five year old entrepreneur invents cure for cancer, and it's delicious](#)
- <a class="fakelink">How to finish an article instead of getting distracted after the first paragraph</a>
- <a class="fakelink">Scientists warn sun moving closer to Earth, clock ticking to get beach bod in shape</a>
- <a class="fakelink">Five year old entrepreneur invents cure for cancer, and it's delicious</a>
The professional gentleman, to whom we now refer with a different pronoun just to shake things up, says he feels very strongly about the issue.
- [Click here to share this article](#)
- <a class="fakelink">Click here to share this article</a>
But not everyone has the same opinion.
Some people have different opinions.
<blockquote style="text-align: center; font-size:3em;">What America needs today is more professionally written articles. The kind with great big pull quotes and enough share buttons for our childrens' children.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="pullquote">What America needs today is more professionally written articles. The kind with great big pull quotes and enough share buttons for our childrens' children.</blockquote>
The interview, which took place last Thursday and was held exclusively with voussoir.net reporters because our reporters are the best, took place last Thursday, and involved much incoherent rambling with the occasional useful sound bite.
The interview, which took place last Thursday and was held exclusively with voussoir.net reporters because our reporters are the best, took place last Thursday and involved much incoherent rambling with the occasional useful sound bite.
Mr. Governor, the governor of Governmentown said he felt differently.
- [Ever Given is back for round 2, and this time he's not giving up so easy](#)
- [Politician not concerned with tax spending "Not my money"](#)
- [Terrorism](#)
- <a class="fakelink">Ever Given is back for round 2, and this time he's not giving up so easy</a>
- <a class="fakelink">Politician not concerned with tax spending "Not my money"</a>
- <a class="fakelink">Terrorism</a>
<blockquote style="text-align: center; font-size:3em;">I feel differently.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="pullquote">I feel differently.</blockquote>
But voussoir.net's top journalists are not sure if he was responding to McMinisterface's remarks or simply commenting on the potency of the drugs he was smoking at the time.
- [Game of hide-and-seek ends after 89 years in world record, both parties previously presumed dead](#)
- [How to finish an article instead of getting distracted halfway through](#)
- [Labrador retriever arrested in bank heist scheme carrying Desert Eagle](#)
- <a class="fakelink">Game of hide-and-seek ends after 89 years in world record, both parties previously presumed dead</a>
- <a class="fakelink">How to finish an article instead of getting distracted halfway through</a>
- <a class="fakelink">Labrador retriever arrested in bank heist scheme carrying Desert Eagle</a>
The interview took place on Thursday after a long public debate earlier that Thursday between many members of the press regarding the quality of news and journalism in America.
<blockquote style="text-align: center; font-size:3em;">Most news outlets don't use enough pull quotes.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="pullquote">Most news outlets don't use enough pull quotes.</blockquote>
McMinisterface and Mr. Governor were both involved in the debate, along with key executives from Fox, CNN, Disney, Comcast, YouTube, Little Debbie, the FCC, the Department of Defense, and the United States Air Force, whose involvement was initially unclear.
- [Click here to share this article](#)
- <a class="fakelink">Click here to share this article</a>
During the debate, the prevailing opinion of those involved was that American media has room for improvement and there is nothing funny going on in Area 51 we'd like to make that perfectly clear.
During the debate on Thursday, the prevailing opinion of those involved was that American media has room for improvement and there is nothing funny going on in Area 51 we'd like to make that perfectly clear.
It was noted that American media is still doing pretty well despite a few shortcomings.
<blockquote style="text-align: center; font-size:3em;">Nothing funny going on in Area 51.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="pullquote">Nothing funny going on in Area 51.</blockquote>
Among the shortcomings, McMinisterface said that most news outlets don't use enough pull quotes. He feels that pull quotes tell the reader the important bits so they can hurry up and get this whole reading thing over with. He repeated this sentiment to us during our exclusive interview on Thursday.
@ -61,17 +105,17 @@ Among the shortcomings, McMinisterface said that most news outlets don't use eno
"We'd like to work more closely with advertisers," said YouTube's marketing department. "So far, sleeping with them hasn't proven to be close enough, and we're determined to get closer. It's all about making money. Can you erase that? I meant delighting the viewers".
- [Click here to share this article](#)
- <a class="fakelink">Click here to share this article</a>
Fox described American media's shortcomings as "everybody should be watching Fox why isn't everybody watching Fox just watch Fox", but was not willing to take part in the exclusive interview with voussoir.net journalists on Thursday because they were too busy watching Fox.
Little Debbie assured the public she would continue to produce baked goods and that there's nothing funny going on in Area 51.
<blockquote style="text-align: center; font-size:3em;">The situation is [...] looking very good.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="pullquote">The situation is [...] looking very good.</blockquote>
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- [Terrorism](#)
- ["Why aren't you returning my calls?" How to deal with a hung process](#)
- <a class="fakelink">Mountain Dew begins production of verification cans</a>
- <a class="fakelink">Terrorism</a>
- <a class="fakelink">"Why aren't you returning my calls?" How to deal with a hung process</a>
But our anonymous sources tell us otherwise.
@ -83,9 +127,9 @@ The rest of the interview was not very interesting so don't worry about it.
See also:
- [Chicken farmer learns his animals being used in manufacture of chicken nuggets, horrified](#)
- [Congress forced to pat selves on back, no one else will do it for them](#)
- [Drinking coffee every morning is good for your health](#)
- [Drinking coffee every morning is bad for your health](#)
- <a class="fakelink">Chicken farmer learns his animals being used in manufacture of chicken nuggets, horrified</a>
- <a class="fakelink">Congress forced to pat selves on back, no one else will do it for them</a>
- <a class="fakelink">Drinking coffee every morning is good for your health</a>
- <a class="fakelink">Drinking coffee every morning is bad for your health</a>
<center><img src="guilt.png"/> <img src="guilt.png"/> <img src="guilt.png"/></center>